True, Don. Different ways. Not right or wrong. Just different. And whatever works in helping us to survive is the right one for each of us. For me, in caring for my son - the anger (not necessarily turned outward) is what spurred me on to find ways to help him survive. Perhaps it is my French-Canadian background. There is a saying in French: "Syst�me-D" which means "D�brouille-toi" or "figure things out, or work your way through the fog. A proud parent will say about his child, "Il est bien d�brouillard" (He can figure things out for himself). There is always something you can do about whatever situation you are in. And doing it is what kept me from falling into the Black Pit of depression. Speaking of black pits, William E. Henley's poem "Invictus" also helped me many times to get a grip on myself. It's on my website here in case it might help anyone:
http://webpages.charter.net/xila/favpoems.html