Shadow
I do not know the full story of your wife ,only what you shared. Obviously I am very biased here if the only reasons your wife plans on suicide (make no bones about it by euphemisms like death with dignity, etc) are her speech impediments and a lifetime on a feeding tube. But even I supported some poster's suicide decisions when they were had no spouse or loved one in their daily life,or very lonely, they were past eighty and had no compelling reason to live. Your wife does not seem to fit that,
Instead my opinion is that the medical community has failed her spectactuarily in not informing her of basic ways to deal with what in reality are not as bad as they appear. Bear in mind that from your description both my speech and eating issues are far more severe than hers yet as Brian posted,,I have a good life despite them so I think my opinion is based on fact and proven by experience
First, she should have an AMT mini one low profile feeding tube or "button" put in to replace her undoubtedly horrific Mickey tube. The difference is life changing.
Second, she needs to buy a Vitamix blender and then she can eat most of the food you do and even have meals together again
Third, she needs to see a prothodontist to get an oral appliance that will greatly improve her speech
Fourth, she should be seeing a speech language therapist
Please try and convince her to use the lousy feeding tube and canned formulae inthe interim. Death is forever so it is not unreasonable to ask for 90days more to. Get all 4 things done.
Ironically, I am typing this advice from a hospital bed after complications from my third round of cancer. I had base of tongue cancer and surgery plus three different rounds of both radiation and chemo so trust me, I know very well just how difficult this can be and of course I have been depressed and felt like giving up. It is normal. But it is fair as a caregiver to ask for three months of trying to ameliorate these issues
My doctors are here and I. Have to go for now. Later today I will send links on each om 4 points. Don't give up on her or let her give up on herself without at least trying 4 simple steps
Charm