Oh Bette, I know you miss Reggie.
You are in the position none of us caregivers want to be in. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.
Do you have a support group of girlfriends who you can spend the days with? Meeting for lunch and coffees. Walks, where you can just talk about Reggie and your grief. Are any family nearby? Or can you go stay with family for a while?
I know you have to get on with your life, but grieve and talk about Reggie to whoever will listen.
Chemically assisted sleep helps too.
I'm thinking of you Bette,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!