Callie,
while your doctors can't offer certainty, they would not be suggesting the surgery if there wasn't a reasonable shot it will work.

If you and Don are comfortable with the doctors, the UAB CCC looks like a very good place for treatment. It is an NCI designated Comprehensive Cancer Care Center - and only the best of the best have that designation. As others have said, a second opinion is always good, but if you do not opt for it, you are in a good place now.

As other have suggested, call in all your favors for support for yourself and help with your kids. Someday you will pay their help forward with kindness to others in trouble and distress.
Maria