Hi David,

That Linda has a husband who is yearning for his wife to put on a swimsuit so they can go swimming together should bolster her self-esteem considerably. It shows how much she is loved and valued. It shows how much her company means to you. She is a lucky woman.

It's hard to overlook physical scars when they are fresh and still red and visible. As the physical scars fade, the emotional and mental ones will, too. Just by being who you are, you are helping all her wounds heal. It isn't just the physical caregiving that gets someone through. It's also the love and the steadfastness, constancy, unwavering support for the person not just the patient. Linda was a patient, she is now a survivor. Throughout the whole thing, she is a woman. Keep treating her like a woman first and foremost, and she'll regain her self-esteem. You are doing a wonderful job. Keep at it.

I have heard there are wonderful things that are done with reconstruction. A friend of mine had a single radical mastectomy and said the side that was reconstructed using tissue from her abdomen (procedure like a tummy tuck) was better than the original. Those were her exact words. She was very happy about the results. Is that an option for Linda?

I hope Linda doesn't let her thoughts about her body take away things she enjoys doing. Life's too short to let any parts of it get stolen by our insecurities.

Sending a big hug to two of my favorite survivors!

Sandy