David....my thoughts and prayers are with you and Linda and I hope they will come up with the right treatment. Sometimes caregivers just can't say anything right but sounds to me like she's just going thru the normal thought process most females would go through. She will work it all out and all you can do is be there and wait it out - harder said than done but do-able.
CG to H with SCC BOT T4N2cM0 dx 12/19/08, teeth removed pre-tx; Erbitux & RT-done 3/12/09, PEG 2/9/09-7/14/09; ND 6/16. Pet 6/12-no mets except lymph node in neck removed on 6/16. Chyle leak,2nd surg to repair. Dilate esophagus 4/15/10. Clear PET 12/17/10
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