Billy, you are a wonderful person and you will get through this--- patience is not the virture we want but it is want we need. Depression can be scary and I am so glad you seeked help. that says alot about you. we are praying for you. I know you have a lot of faith grab onto it and let it pull you through the tough times.I don't think life will aver be as it was, How can it be? you have been through so much (like hell and back) so you will be different but remember the blessings in your life. Some days we have to look hard because we say- is this it! But remember you are not alone. There are alot of us on the forums that care and they will be there for you. I am typing this with tears in my eyes because I know your frustration as I see it in my own husbands eyes. Hang in there -tomorrow is a new day. Prayers and good thoughts. LJ