My primary was also a tough one to find. I had to have the exploritory surgery to take samples from different areas of my throat and it turned out to be on the right tonsil. Teh only symptom I had was the lump on my neck. ! doc said stage III, another sad VIa. It's hard to believe they're ready to start chemo already. I was diagnosed dec 22 07, but didn't start any trearment until feb 1 08. Then it was 7 weeks of radiation with concurrent weekly chemo. If he has radiation, his throat may still be swollen from the surgery, as mine was, and the normal position they set him in to fit the mask he will have may make it hard to breathe. That's what happened to me and I really panicked and had to be repositioned and redo the mask.
Anyway, it was a very rough course of treatment and my wife was a wonderful caregiver and thanks in large part to her, here I am 2 years later and still cancer free. Your support and aid at his appointments (take notes, ask questions, keep things organised) should see your husband through this as well. Best of luck.