A will isn't just "necessary", in my view it is mandatory. I was a banker for 33 years, and trust me, there are few things worse than dealing with someone who died without said will.

One day about 6 months ago, I sat down and wrote out a list of what personal items I wanted to give away and to whom. I went over it with my husband and I EXPECT him to honour it - even though it is not part of my formal will.

I would encourage you to sit down and in a calm and matter of fact manner make this type of list with her. I can't tell you how much better I felt once the list was done. Sounds odd, maybe, but somehow you rest easier knowing your ducks are lined up.

I would also HIGHLY encourage you to explore with your wife any items that maybe she has always wanted to do but never has. I would also refer you both to a book titled "Chasing Daylight". It is the story of a CEO who was told he had 3 months or so to live and how he proceeded to spend that time. I have read it a couple of times. It is an awakening about how each of us spends our days and about how - especially with limited time - we need to spend it carefully.

I know if I was told I had less than a year I would certainly be on the next plane out of here to fulfill some travel dreams of mine.

Donna

Don't be afraid to discuss these things with her - she obviously wants to talk about it. I think it only frustrates the "patient" when others will not talk about realities. But, just my humble opinion.


Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)