Hi, Tom,

I am so sorry for what you are facing. I can imagine how difficult it is to have discussions about wills, end of life issues and so on when you are actually facing this. My sister-in-law died of cancer (in her 40's) and my brother asked her about burial versus cremation the day before she died which was really difficult for him but they hadn't discussed any of these things for the very reasons you've mentioned. My sister-in-law was raised Catholic but joined the Presbyterian Church when she married. However, Catholicism was very important to her mother and for these reasons, the service and burial incorporated both religions. My sister-in-law (another one) is a Catholic parish nurse and she can give last rites (don't recall her "title" which allows her to do this as I am not Catholic) and does the most beautiful end of life ceremony involving family and friends with the individual who is passing. If you're interested in learning more, please contact me as she lives in Minnesota as do you and she might be able to help you locate the Parish nurse for your area. Most of her ministery is with end of life issues and she is very helpful to family members as well as the individual who is facing death. She helps family members talk about the very issues you are raising.

My thoughts are with you- Sophie