Eric

There are many men and women who pride themselves on their appearance and you are definitely not alone with your concerns about your appearance. What you have been through, and what you have to deal with everyday cannot be understood by anyone but you.

The scars on my body where bone and tissue have been taken from after 2 separate extensive surgeries, once the pain was under control, are not only out of sight but also out of mind, I rarely think of them - scars fade.

Once our nerves or facial structures are damaged and/or reconstructed that becomes a totally different story, one that cannot be covered by a piece of clothing.

In many cases it is not temporary it is permanent. My work and social life used to revolve around face to face contact, meetings, restaurants, dinner parties etc and I loved it. I haven't been able to swallow anything but liquids and mush for over 2 years and it has taken along time to get to the mushy foods because of all the complications from radiotherapy.

While so many people, with good intentions, say don't worry about this and that and tell you that everything is ok, the fact of the matter is you do worry and don't want to see yourself in the mirror like this, and unless someone has walked in your shoes or a partner who is living through this with you, they don't really know.

One thing that everyone does know is that this disease does not discriminate or have any boundaries. It is tough.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I can relate to what you are dealing with. Stay strong.

Karen