Our sex life stopped the day rob was diagnosed,He had the desire,but the mechanics just wouldn't work for him and rather than face disappointment he put sex in his cancer cupboard and locked the door.To Rob having cancer was a weakness,a punishment,and made him less of a man.It was one area of our life he took charge of and his fragile emotional state allowed cancer to take charge of him, and all control he felt he had in his living,and ultimately his mind shut sex away.The only emotion he ever showed was manifested in rebellion and anger.As i wrote at the time in the last three weeks of his life we had a closeness i never thought possible,and shower times were a source of a rather sad amusement,and we laughed at his unused body parts,but it was bitter sweet .He was a very physical man and this disease and its treatment can take away more than just your health.

liz