Dear Tamara,
I too am so very sorry you have to endure this - it is indeed the worst anguish one can experience. My beautiful 43-yr old daughter left us on Sept 29, 2008 after 2-1/2 yrs of suffering, the last 6 months being absolute hell. We too had Hospice the last month & the nurses kept telling us "today will probably be the last day..." She hung on for 2 agonizing weeks. I suffered the same questions about withholding feedings & water (she was on a feeding tube). We pushed the meds with just enough water to get it thru the tube. On the morning she passed the nurse came to get me at 2:30am & said that Teri had just opened her eyes and lifted both her arms in the air (she had been in a coma for a week & hadn't moved a muscle in that time). I was able to hold her until 5:02 when she breathed her last breath. I will treasure the fact that I was able to be holding her - I consider it a gift. You will relive each of these last days of this horrible journey over and over but be assured that it does eventually get better. Know that we are all here to help you through this. You and your family are in our prayers. Come let us help you.
Bonnie

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CG to daughter Teri, age 43, tongue cancer (non-smoker, non-drinker, aerobics instructor); dx 4/06, partial glossectomy, 35 IMRT, 3 chemos, reoccurrance 5/09 (lung/kidney/bone), entered Heaven 9/29/08