Tamara
I am so sorry you are suffering so through this long terminal phase of Kyle's illness. It seems he wants to stay with you as long as he possibly can despite the disease marching forward continually. Try not to feel guilt for wanting to escape from it all at times, those are normal feelings. I am sure you are physically and emotinally exhausted with all you have been through thus far.
We are all here for you to vent as you need to, and emotionally support you. Wishing you strength and courage to face each day.

Caregiver to husband Dx. Stage 4 SCC of gingiva with 3 nodes pos. Partial mandiblectomy with bone graft from iliac crest Dec. 2006. IMRT x30, Cisplatin x3. Completed Tx. March 15, 2007. Osteonecrosis & removal of graft & plate Oct. 2007. Recurrence of SCC Dec. 2007. Deceased Jan. 17, 2008.