Since so many people have had similar experiences, was wondering if anyone has something similar that I could find out some of the things to expect.

My wife, Pam, diagnosed and treated during the last year had a biopsy a couple of weeks ago that came back positive for squamous cell cancer. The biopsy was of a lymph node under her arm. She has had 2 PETs so far, first time had more concern with possible spread in tongue but all biopsies came back clean. After the second PET, there was concern with the lymph node under the arm, her vocal chords, a spot on her ribs and some small nodules in her lungs.

From the consultation today, we were told that since the SCC from the mouth had spread to another area of the body,further treatment would be considered to slow down or delay the cancer but the cancer would now be incurable. They have scheduled another PET scan for next week and barring many other areas lighting up, plan to remove the tumor under her arm. From the discussion with the doctor, it sounds like they believe the nodules in her lungs to be cancerous, they have grown between the scans. They feel the spots in the lungs are still small and while I believe they mentioned removing them, it may have been that they were talking about going after it with chemo. I know the doctor stated that they would not want to start chemo without some way of monitoring if it was working and currently the nodules in hte lungs would be too small.

Pam had returned to work full time late in February. I asked the doctor about work and they stated that many people continue to work while they are feeling well, to help keep them active and occupied.

To me this doesn't sound like a favorable prognosis.

My questions for anyone here would be, what should we expect for the future? I know everything is different, miracles happen, etc. but if Pam does have a limited time left, I want to make it the best for her.

Once the cancer has metastisized, how quickly does it spread? I know I asked what things we should look for and it sounded like it could materialize anywhere, in the bones, organs or other lymph nodes. Have others experienced 1 to 2 years before serious problems or more like 10 to 15 years?

How long have others continued to work? Currently our insurance is through her work but during the first round of treatment, she expended all vacation and FMLA to where we were paying COBRA at the end. We have already passed our out of pocket for this year, so would like to continue her insurance. At what point in a diagnosis should we start checking into disability, and has anyone had any luck?

Lots of other questions but I think these are the ones that will keep me up tonight. Would appreciate any responses.

Thanks,