Hi Tom
On the day Robs surgeon dropped the atom bomb,neither of us asked for a time scale,we were too stunned to speak really.When the surgeon left the room and the oncology registrar was talking to robin,i slipped out and caught the surgeon.I asked the question,and he said weeks not months.When we arrived home rob immediately set out his action plan,and within 48 hours he had made his will,sold his van and all his work tools,given notice to quit on our flat,rung his life insurance and cashed in his policy,told me to clear out all his clothes,and arranged for us to move to our home in yorkshire.What i didn't know at the time was he had asked the registrar the same question while i was out of the room,and he had told him days not weeks.
The point being we were both afraid to mention these conversations as we wanted to protect each other.We told everyone as we knew there was going to be a lot of peeople who would want to say goodbye,but that was because our window was so small,hopefully you will have many months to put your house in order.
As for the kids,i think honesty is the best policy .they are not children and will appreciate being treated like responsible adults,and will need to feel involved.Excluding them could cause untold resentment and heartache further down the line.

I hope this helps

love liz