Tom- We were very open with our children about what was happening. Everytime Neil had a scan-they would ask how things were going so they knew whatever we did at the time. He never had a good scan so they kind of got the picture right away. They were 17, 16, and 12 at the time. I had to press the doctor for a realistic expectation and Neil was in on the conversation. He went a lot longer with the treatment than I think i would have had the courage to go. With the last round of chemo, he knew it was time to stop as he was so very sick. We did however get wills, check into benefits and talk about the final arrangements several months before this. It was the right thing to do because we at least got to spend our last holiday season without having to talk about that stuff. We also had a great vacation with extended family last year which was a true blessing. Everyone knew it would be the last and made great effort to be there. My son was supposed to go to summer school but will be going this year instead. You will see that some things just become more important now. It's a great idea to have your pastor involved in this. Hopefully it will give your wife some solice. Try to be honest with her. Believe me, if she doesn't want to hear certain things-she'll let you know.

You will be left to pick up the pieces so you are right to come here to get advice from those who have done this before. Liz and Amy (JAM) have given me some much needed help through my ordeal.
Make sure the doctors are up front with you. I wanted to know all the details so i wouldn't be shocked. Noone can tell you exactly how the last months will be but for warned is for armed. As for your children, they are old enough to be told the truth so they can spend some quality time with Mom knowing that this is all they will have with her. God Bless you all.

Sue