Greetings! My situation: A close friend (age 33) of the past three years told me yesterday that he thinks he has oral cancer- numb/swollen lips and tongue, white lesions inside his mouth, sometimes pain swallowing and shooting pains in his neck, lymph nodes slightly swollen. When I first met him three years ago, I noticed that he had a small sore on his lower lip (right were he would drag on his cig)that would scab, then disappear and reappear every once in awhile.
Almost two months ago, Feb. 5, he woke up with a numb mouth and realized that he should get the lesions in his mouth-that he'd been ignoring- checked out because "whatever was going on, it wasn't good." His primary doctor cleared him of STDs and anything else he could think to test for so now my friend has been to referred to an ENT specialist. I've been nagging him to make the appointment and he's dragging his heels because he thinks it-whether it's truly cancer or not is still unknown- is too far gone for him to be saved. He is a heavy drinker and smoker and refuses to even lighten up on those things, which is beyond my comprehension.
How can I help him? It's almost impossible to be supportive when he's fighting to stay ignorant but I'm the only person he's told and I can't not do anything. I've threatened to tell his sister/best friend if he doesn't make an appointment-is that out of line? I live thousands of miles from him right now and his sis lives only three miles from him. I don't know where to go from here and this is just the beginning!