This discussion touches me too. I am 3.5 years out from Dx and feeling great. I don't think about dying, but I am aware that it is on my mind. I won't buy any new clothes. I just keep patching up my old pickup truck to drive. I realize that I don't want to "waste" money on new things for me - it implies I won't be around to wear them out. My wife and I were grocery shopping the other day. We needed vanilla ice cream (the only thing I can swallow) and I told her to find something cheap. (Don't waste the good stuff on me???) It was weird. I don't feel like a martyr or anything, just being practical.

I've already lived much longer than they thought I would - even than I thought I would. I'm delighted. I guess my 'new normal' doesn't have much advanced planning in it, or any entitlement either. Odd.

I delight in my family and interacting with my grown kids and new grandkids. I love spending time with my wife. I have a couple of part time jobs - teaching and acedemic advising at the college. My dog goes with me when I go fishing. Life is good.

I don't want to die of cancer - or anything else I guess. Like most of you, today is my day. There is so little I can do about tomorrow's health, tomorrow's diagnosis, tomorrow's pain. What I can tell you is: I don't have cancer today. That makes me smile.

Be strong, Tom (And go to the Getting Through It project and help me with this dang book!!)