Amen Joan and congratulations on 5 years of being cancer free. It gives hope to the rest of us.

Everyday I have to make a decision whether or not to live in fear and/or anxiety and just give myself over to it, which is all too easy to do, or to choose to live in the "now" and just do what is in front of me to be done.

The numbers vary so widely that you can pick what set of numbers you want. My AJCC numbers were 62% chance of being dead in 5 years. My RO CCC numbers were 20% and the greatest risk is in the first 2 years (at least from a recurrence at the orginal tumor site). I am 3 1/2 years out so technically I have gotten past the worst of it, statistically.

It's hard not to think about death the older we get anyway, I seem to go to more and more funerals every year (oftentimes for people even younger than me). My dad lived to 92 and never once mentioned to me that he was afraid of dying (and he died of cancer). In practically his last breath he stated "I'm going to beat this" and he did.

Death is inevitable - none of us gets out alive. The future is also not ours - the trick is to stay in the present. Thinking about survival statistics is future tripping.