Hi Michelle,

It's perfectly normal for you to hope your husband will respond a certain way, don't be hard on yourself about that. He simply needs some time to wrap his mind around all that has happened. Keep in mind that, for many of us, the MOST fearful time comes when we DO start to feel better after treatment is over. During treatment we are weak and focused on simply making it through the day, not much thought given to tomorrow. We also have a sense that we are fighting the disease actively, ie. raidation, chemo. When treatment is over and we begin to feel better and heal, so does our mental state. All of a sudden we feel well enough to be scared sh*tless!! And the scariest part is that we're not doing anything on a daily basis to fight this disease, we simply feel like we're sitting and waiting for it to come back. I know that thought took over me for awhile.

The worrying about things like an overcrowded refrigerator may be his way of venting his frustration with his fear and his still weak physical and emotional state. I used to tear up and cry about the stupidest things. I also had a strong instinct to NOT let my family see my fear, so sometimes it showed itself masked as my anger. It's alot for both of you to absorb, just take it slow.

Minnie