Hi, Michelle, I encounterd alot of what you are dealing with while John was sick. The solution to his "not wanting to know anything about the disease or tx" [while I was researching and reading everything I could get my hands on] was to start printing out postings on OCF that were pertinant to what he was dealing with right then and leaving them lying around in an obvious place - as if I had been reading and got interrupted- sure enough, he started picking them up and reading them, and before long he would ask me to post a question to see what answers might come forth. Another thing that works for me was that I blew my top one night and told him that we were in this together and while I was not the patient, this cancer was affecting me as much as him and if he wanted me to continue to be his caregiver we needed to communicate better. Since he was dead set against any visiting nurses, etc., he took that conversation to heart. This all took place during the 1st round.
His anger is pretty much normal, but you do need to tell him that the cancer is, in many ways, as hard or harder on you as it is on him. This is not going to get much easier for a while. Hang in there. Amy