Ha Ha David - I will admit in my life I have used it as a "tool", but in this case it was legit and I couldn't stop it. I don't want him to see me cry because he has enough to worry about without my tears... but sometimes the truth comes through. and quite honestly I think sometimes it does you good to think about someone else - you get so self-absorbed (rightfully so) as you're going through this - sometimes it's good to step back and remember you're not the only one affected. Especially when there are kids involved. I can go a long time with him being angry and not talking to me, but sick with cancer or not - I can't handle it when it affects the kids. David is too young to understand why daddy has boo boos and why daddy sleeps all the time and doesn't play.... So anyway - I think we are past the anger again and on to being a team and remember that there's a whole family here :-). I know the anger will be back, but we'll enjoy this time while we can.