Dealing with the anger is a hard one,but you have pretty much hit the nail on the head.Step back ,but be there whatever you do watch what you say or you may find yourself on the end of coments like How would you know? or "its my cancer not yours".At a time when you are trying to be all things to everyone these sort of barbs hurt like hell so try not to put yourself in the firing line too much.

good luck
liz