Sandy,
I am one of those who ot this cancer without ever having smoked a cigarette, or drunk excessively. I don't know if I would feel worse if I had. I know I hate it when people say "Oh, but you don't smoke" when they hear that I have oral cancer. What difference does it make how we got it? Most alcoholics and smokers do not get cancer.

If you can accept it and get on with your life, you have won a major battle. Some days will still be better than others. My Feeling today is: OK, I have cancer, how can I best live with it. For me, today, it means doing my best to stay as healthy I can while recovering from radiation, trying not waste my days worrying about recurrence. The worst feeling is that despair when it seems there is nothing I can do that will make a difference. You'll have to decide for yourself what is the best you can do.

Good luck,
Leena