SandyJo,
When you wake up tomorrow morning, spend the first few minutes thinking about what you do have. Listen for the birds, notice the sun shining, notice the absence of gunshots...These are examples of things we take for granted that others accept as life.
Email some people on this forum and hear of how they saw their loved ones battle this disease to the last breath. Or, maybe chat with a few people on this forum that know for certain, that there is no more cure available to them, that there are literally days left to spend with their families.
Spend the last days with a terminal parent discussing life and death as you see them whither away until their physical body gives out.
You sound like you are so unhappy with the way things are yet you do not seem to want to do anything about it. If you are not willing to do whatever it takes to enjoy life and live life to the fullest, what do you expect from others?
I hope tomorrow you wake up and say, "gee, what a great day". You have been blessed with two great years yet you have wasted most if not all of those days, based on your post. Carpe Diem, sieze the day, for it is yours to do with as you choose.
Ed