Sounds like you have worked out a pretty good routine- and I can relate to the "heading for the door" - especially for your Mom. Hopefully she goes somewhere she can get some rest while you are there. I don't know how long they have been married, but if it has been a good marriage, the emotional pressure on her is enormous-not to mention what the strain of providing this level of nursing care can do to someone untrained. The same goes for you, by the way, altho your emotional attatchment is different. I once tried to list the things I had learned about myself during John's illness and quit after 3 pages. I may try again later to see what "stuck". I had some mentors to lean on - my Mom took care of my Dad for years after a horrendous stroke- my best friends have an MD child who has required round the clock care for the last 8 years and is losing ground daily. And 2 cousins died of leukemia in their teens- their Moms left an indelible impression on me. Altho this is an Oral Cancer forum, it is also very much a forum about getting through what life throws at us and remembering that caring and sharing and loving are really the most rewarding things we can do. Keep looking forward, Mariam, and give your Mom a hug for me. Amy in the Ozarks