Brian,
That was exactly what I needed to hear. I think you are correct and the most difficult lesson is that I never really had the control I thought I did and neither did Harry. We are dealing with that harsh reality in very different ways.

I have always somehow believed that I was in control of my life... all of the things that come in and go out... but the one thing that any major illness can teach you is that control is an illusion that we create for ourselves so that we can maintain some level of order in our lives. At least it is for me.

Now we struggle together and apart to cope and understand what is, what was, what might be, and to what extent we can control any of it.

I think that the idea of control goes to the heart of any faith be it God or anything else. Even sometimes love between 2 people.

I know that in time we will learn and grow and I am really hoping that in a year or two I will be able to speak of the wonders of our lives such as those who help people like me do now.

I can never express in words how eternally grateful I am that you created this place. I am sure that you do know that but it can never be said enough.

With Love,
Cindy