The loss of control is a real issue, and a reality that religious or not, is often shocking to those who encounter it head on. In my own experience it was one of the many things that I mourned as a loss. That transition took me through loss, anger, frustration, and finally acceptance. This path has been reiterated to me by individuals on both sides of the religion issue so it seems a universal experience. Whether you believe that things are preordained by a God, or you believe that we are froth on the wake of life, control would appear to be an illusion in either regard. In either perspective it is nothing more than castles built on sand. Acceptance of life's nature, whether from a spiritual perspective or existential perspective, is what allows balance in dealing with the ever-changing nature of our existence.