I wasn't necessarily asking for religious interpretations although it is one's right to look at it that way, however if it offends someone I apologize. It was not my intent to start a religious war.

I am just looking for answers to questions that I suppose are unanswerable. Like why him? Why now? etc. etc.

I imagine I am not the first to be asking these questions nor will I be the last. I spend everyday trying to encourage my husband to continue this fight (which is getting harder and harder each day because everyday that passes he sinks further and further into his own inpenetrable fortress) and I guess I am just searching.

My husband is not a positive person. He used to be many years ago, but the last couple he has been very pesimistic about everything. I am afraid that he is not like most of you. He does not look at this as a battle to be won. He looks at it as if the enemy has already won. I spend every waking moment trying to save him from himself. Do I have the power to do that? I don't know but I am not ready to give up trying.

He won't look at this site, won't talk to other survivors, won't talk about how he feels to anyone. I can see it is eating him but he just closes up and shuts everything and eveyone out.

The statement can mean anything anyone wants it too and it was just that that I was trying to solicit. To see the world and this disease through others eyes. It is helpful to me and my husband to have a different view of things. It is far to easy to become wrapped up inside this little isolated world we now live in so I reach out to others in order to hang on to the knowledge that the terrible lonliness that we are both feeling does not really mean that we are alone.

I kind of thought that was what we were here for.

Once again I apologize if I have ofended anyone.

Thanks,
Cindy