I just joined this forum because of my brother, an extremely heavy smoker and drinker who waited two years before mentioning the ulcer in his mouth to anyone. A couple of months ago he had surgery that removed almost all of his lower teeth, some jawbone and lots of tissue. He went right back to smoking and drinking and chickened out of the prescribed radiation.

Needless to say, he's right back in hospital again and facing radiation with no choice about it because they say it's a matter of days until he'll be unable to eat or even breathe. He's in horrible pain. The only bright spot I can see is that although the cancer has spread to lymph tissue, it's still localized in the mouth. I'm torn between anger and sorrow and guilt - all complicated by the fact that my two siblings and I live 300 miles away, and my brother's primary support is our 75-year-old, widowed mom.

It has already been helpful to me to realize that there are other people out there who love difficult people, people whose lives are at risk because they can't walk away from cigarettes and alcohol. Thank you to you all and my prayers are with you all too.