Mandi,

At Last. I am so happy for you. I do hope it was Dennis's decision to get treatment because he has a much better chance of beating this if he is not in denial.

Everyone says go to ALANON. That depends on whether you can find the right group. I found I had absolutely nothing in common with the groups I attended since I was self supporting and had no children. What I needed to do was learn more about the disease itself and how do cope with someone who has it. I attended several speaker AA meetings and grabbed every junk of literature available. There were also group sessions for the family on Saturdays at the facility my husband checked into. These were very beneficial. I had no idea what to expect when he was released from the facility 3 or 4 weeks later and I needed to know how it was going to affect our life. That sounds selfish on my part, but I wanted to help him without being an enabler and I didn't know how I should change.

It was rough. He had to do 90 meetings in 90 days and he did it and more. I don't remember how many years, but he attended meetings at least 4-5 days a week for years. That was 20 some odd years ago and he has never had a drink since. AA left little time for me and no time for a social life, but it was worth it because if he hadn't done it, he would be dead. He still runs one meeting a week.

So hang in there. Do what you have to do, whether you stay or leave. Do whatever is best for both you and your kids. Just maybe Dennis will get the picture and get control of his life. Here's hoping.

Take care,
Eileen