Liz, you are quite wrong to assume that "we women" would not approve of your actions. Staying in that situation would be comparable to sticking your head in a lighted gas oven. It is a "no-win" place for you to be until Rob decides he would rather live than die. Most of us caregivers have dealt with angry,frustrated,scared, doped up partners, but for the most part they all wanted to survive and were working hard to do just that. It sounds like the only people that may be able to help Rob at this point are his Doctors. We know this is incredibly hard for you, but please don't get down on yourself-you don't deserve that. Amy in the Ozarks