Liz,
Have not got any magic answer for you.
Wish I did.

Being a caretaker is the hardest thing I have ever done.
We are the first to know when it is a bad day and have to walk on egg shells to try to calm frayed nerves. Or try to figure out schedules we can't really control. Felt I had no control almost daily. Was I that good at coping or just walking through like a zombie?
Nope. Forgot how much fun it was when I asked the Dr a question I knew he wouldn't and the look he gave me cut right through my soul. Trying to keep everything going while smiling about did me in.

As a caretaker we also see thru the face they put on for the world and show us the battle.
It really, really sucked big time.
(hope that's OK to post)

I'd do it again if the need arises.
But I would open up and ask for more support from others. Is there a group thru the hospital or locally to join?
If not post here..... lots of us understand.
Maggie