Jim,

I'm married to a pretty woman too. As for surgery, I had pretty much evertything you describe except the tongue; instead of that, I opted to have half of my jaw removed, the entire fibula in my left leg taken out to rebuild the jaw, and skin grafts from both legs to fill in the extra holes. Oh, and let's not forget the neck dissection, the removal of the jugular, 56 lymph nodes, and a couple of "not too important" muscles.

Are you sure it's Barb you're trying to keep from the torture??

Sorry to be harsh, but do you REALLY believe that watching you succumb to a gruesome demise ( and it IS gruesome...slow, painful and ugly) is less tortuous than the treatment?

I know what my pretty wife would say; "give your head a shake. Better yet, come closer so I can grab you by the ears and shake it for you!"

I've got enough scars for six people. I limp, and sometimes I drool a little when I eat because part of my lip is numb.

I also value every single day I have with my pretty wife more than I have ever valued them before. And you know what? She still loves me, tells me so every day, and kisses me every chance she gets....and this after so long we have 3 adult children.

Treatment for oral cancer is hell on earth. It is torture, really and truly. It is also the ONLY chance you have to have your last days on this earth good ones. If you don't fight, and fight with everything you have in you to fight, this Beast will make CERTAIN your last days are so far away gone from good, you truly can't imagine how awful they will be.

your actual mileage may vary, but not by much
Wayne