I have decided that nobody knows the feelings and needs of a cancer patient better than one who has experienced this terrible disease. Others try, but there is no way that they can understand how it weighs on our minds. You have to accept that fact, and appreciate the efforts people make to be sensitive. Ditto for the toughtless, selfish friend. She simply can't imagine your problems, so she can't put herself into your shoes. She feels that her particular challenges are comparable, and she has no idea how far off she is. Don't lose a friendship over it,and don't stop communicating with your non-cancer friends, but do cultivate a few who are willing to learn and to understand, and stay in touch here with those wyo REALLY understand. You need both!