Petey,

Seriously..I almost wish we were in your shoes.
My husband had his lymph node biopsied 2 yrs ago and they said it was negative. This passed November 2006 it was biopsied again and positive..along with 2 others on the same side and one other on the opposite side. So. Stage IV base of tongue.
You probably have a much better chance of fighting this and winning than he does, but here we are fighting the fight, with our regrets of not getting a second opinion 2 years ago.
Ultimately the choice is yours, but if you are just giving up because of red tape...I don't get it. We all know how hectic it is when the initial diagnosis comes and we have what seem like a hundred appointments to keep track of, but once things settle down and therapy starts, it really does get easier.
I have no idea how to help you with the insurance problems, but I am sure if you ask about payment plans they must have something to accomodate patients. I hope someone else in the forum can come through on that end for you and your family.
Vicki