Wow, thanks so much for all the help. The Duragesic sounds good and the suggestion of anti-depressants is also good, although I know my Dad will be very resistant to the suggestion.

It's not that he's abusive so much as just withdrawn and non-compliant in terms of swallowing and eating, and then, when pushed, he just gets really grumpy. My Mom has even considered getting an outside caretaker so that she could remove herself from the mix! But although she threatened that once, I don't think she'd carry through with it.

It's also very helpful to hear you survivors talking about what to expect over the next month or so; this is a motivator for me to push hard for the meds you suggest.

Thanks, guys. This forum is a god-send!
Eve