Amy, Nelie, Lenny,
thanks so much for your help. Your posts are a great comfort!
As for the pain: he's pretty resistant to taking any morphine at all. We all push him to take it, but he is just one of those stoics. He didn't even take any pain medication when they pulled some teeth for the IMRT. It's a source of pride to him, and I know it gives him a sense of control, but at the moment that's undermining him.
As for eating, he won't swallow anything -- says the pain and phlegm (and the bad taste of everything) make it "impossible" to eat. But at least now he's reporting to be using the PEG to get some Ensure down.
I know you're all right -- this is just a horrible time, and he's doing what he can. So thanks for all your support!
Eve