Hello Tina,

Your anquish leaps off your posting and I truly feel your pain. All the advise already posted is sound and logical. No matter what happens both your Mom and your family are in for a rough ride. There are many members of this forum who have survived this treatment. They are here for you as well as us with different oral cancers.
Please don't ever feel your being selfish in posting all your fears. It takes a strong person to open up and vent all your concerns.
Your Mom raised one hell of a Daughter. It sounds like you may be her primary caregiver. It is almost as difficult as having the cancer. Knowledge about this diaease is power. As Mark mentioned write down all the questions you want answered ahead of time. You will never remember all of them at the appointment. Also go to the search forum at the top of the page and read some of the older posting's. You will find tons of information about oral cancer.
Last but not least remember now that you found us (The Oral Cancer Foundation) you are not alone. You are now a member of one huge international cyber family. You will come to know us as we hope to know both you and your Mom.

All my best to you and your Mom,

Danny Boy