Okay folks what's up with me?

Mom's surgery is Thursday, she is in so much pain right now, she said the whole left side of her face & throat hurts so bad, now this is a woman that doesn't complain. She took nothing but tylenol after her open heart surgery, walked around in high heel shoes when she broke her foot & had 7 kids without ever complaining.

I can't hardly stand this! She was prescribed liquid loratab & I can hardly get her to take it, all she wants to do is rub it on her tongue, she says it numbs it. The doc tells us if we think this is bad now just wait till after surgery. They will be removing the lymph node on the left side of her neck & the tumor at the base of her tongue. I'm scared to death. I guess my biggest question is will she be the same woman she was before all this? Will she be able to talk to me & give me all of her good advice? Will she be the same grandmother to my kids. What are we in for, all I can think about is the worst! I want to spend as much time with her now before surgery because I'm scared she's not going to be able to function, it's almost like I know I'm about to lose her. When I'm not at her house I'm at work or home but I can't function normally cause all I can think about is her at home in pain. It is affecting my work performance at home & on the job.

I'm hoping you guys can give me some answers or something that can make me feel more at ease. I hope someone can tell me that I'm just being a drama queen. I did'nt feel this scared at first but since it's getting closer -gosh, I can't explain it. Just someone please let me know what to expect after this kind of surgery. I hope someone can tell me to calm down & say it's gonna be alright. You've helped me before, I guess I just need a little more comfort.

This post sounds a little selfish I know, I want everyone to know I'm thinking about all of you & I can say you are all so brave & I guess I just need to know how you got that way, I'm sorry I sound so selfish, it's not even me who has the big "C" I love my mom & I just want to keep her forever. Thanks for listening to me whine. My prayers are with you all! Thanks, Tina