Sweety,

I disappeared from the message board early last month and only returned on recently. I went into a funk, which you described to a T in your last two posts. You feel like you have to be "strong" because everyone around you is saying "your spirits are so high", "I couldn't do what you're doing, you're amazing", "you're the strongest person I know" yadda, yadda, yadda. I was ready to strangle the next person that said it to me.

Everyone has their weak moments going through this, and when it hit, I felt like I was letting everyone around me down. I didn't feel like the strong, high spirited, funny one anymore so I hid. Just remembering these feelings is brining me to tears now. At least you were able to reach out here. These are wonderful people that will take care of you in the good times and bad.

What I'm trying to say is it's okay to be down. It's okay to visualize belting the next person that says "stay strong" or "keep your eye on the prize".

I chose a non-related third party to vent my frustrations. Though i don't know if it will help, I posted my email to him below. Maybe it'll make you feel better knowing you're not the only person feeling this way, but please skip it if it doesn't help!!
********start of email***********
Yes, the last of the bad treatments are over. I can