While you have some things which are obviously not right and hopefully you will receive a more finite diagnosis in the near future, I believe that you are going beyond what is appropriate emotionally right now. You do not have a diagnosis of cancer...talking about the fact that "he (your son) is going to grow up without a father" is putting too much to this, too soon emotionally. There are many things this could be other than cancer, and since you are not qualified to come to a diagnosis yourself, you will have to trust in your doctors to find out what this is. That does not mean that doctors cannot be wrong, it means that if the ones you are seeing can not provide you with a conclusive answer to what is going on, you will have to continue your quest to find someone who can. Also regarding the CT scans, a two month old CT is not that far out of date in the world of oral cancer, and even in those with mid stage OC, the rate of progression of the disease is unlikely to show up differently in two CT scans two months apart. Only when a patient is in very late stages with massive numbers of active cancer lesions, or those of very large size do you see rapid movement in film of progression. Clearly given the radiologists report you are not at this stage. Lastly, sleeping with your mouth open is not a risk factor for oral cancer. It could however lead to other chronic conditions that may affect you if there is something which provides a constant irritant to the tissues of your oropharynx. Try to keep a balanced perspective here. Letting your mind wander to death is way ahead of where you are. Even with a diagnosis of cancer, this disease can be defeated, as many of us here can demonstrate......