Sometimes I think that the depression is worse than the disease itself. My husband is also very depressed and has been for a long time. He took the antidepressants only as long as I was watching but as soon as I turned my head they disappeared. After a while I quit asking. He has been lucky because he has not suffered from the treatments nearly as badly as others, yet everytime I point this out I guess he just can't see it.

The worst thing is if you are both depressed and I have learned one of the hardest lessons of my life being a caregiver to a cancer patient.... I can only take care of my emotional and mental well being. I know this does not sound very comforting but what I can tell you is that his depression is easier to deal with when I don't make it my own.

Sounds like good advice and I can tell you that if you were to go back to earlier this year and read some of my posts you would see that the depression was shared in this house.

I have found ways to redirect my life events so that they are mangeable and so that I don't let them drag me down so far. Sometimes it means not listening to him when he talks about suicide and not wanting to live, sometimes it means walking away, sometimes it means reminding him that life is precious. I have yet to find a magic formula that works but I have to keep myself up so we are not both down.

I don't know if any of this makes sense. I hope that you hang in there, talk to your close friends or a therapist and find ways to keep yourself healthy emotionally. Sometimes just that is enough to rub off on him.

I wish there was an easy answer but there really isn't. Just know that you are not alone. Harry is almost 6 months from treatment and on Dec. 10 he will make a year from diagnosis. People tell me that things will improve with time and it is that piece of hope I hold onto everyday.

Good luck to you both!

Sincerely,
Cindy