Hi, Seremom. Well there are now 4 of us Arkansas gals contributing to the forum [that I know of]. Maybe we should try to get together in person. Do you have any support or relief offered by other family members or friends? Do you have time to do things just for yourself? The position this illness has put you in is so tough. I'll be 65 in Jan. John was diagnosed in April and treatments ended in July. I don't have the strenght, stamina or desire to do half of what I could 6 mos. ago. I dread the upcoming holidays [Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been my favorite time of year]Now I don't want to cook great food or drag out decorations or try to entertain. I have just enough energy to be sure John's meds are filled, that he is eating enough and that the bills are paid on time. Ken is having a much worse time than John, so it is no wonder that you are exhausted and depressed. My heart goes out to you. Keep venting here. It is a safe place to let your hair down. Amy