I'm not sure what I'm doing or if I'm at the right place to seek help,assurence or to just to unload before I explode. My best friend (my Mom) who is 67 started having problems with her dentures a couple months ago. She decided to grind a little on them so it didn't cause as much pressure/pain. She was having pain shooting in her right ear canal and jaw. I suggested I buy her a new pair since she had had them so long. (Over 40 years). She was vain about prople seeing her without them in. One day, her top plate fell on her tongue and caused a bite. When the bite spot didn't seem to heal, she went to the Dr. and recieved antibiotics for an infection. When she stopped wearing both plates, I KNEW she had to be in pain. Long story short, after a trip and biopsy @ an oral surgeon, we learned she had "tongue" cancer stage 4. After being sent to a 2nd surgeon, and many tests later, she now has head and neck cancer. At first, surgery was suggested. The oral surgeon turned our case over to an ENT. From the info we have been given, the surgery she would have to have would include removing all down to the laranex (excuse my spelling please)and would be horrific. At this point, she has opted out of surgery. She has a hard time talking and can eat only soft foods. Mashed potato"s etc. and can't tolerate cold foods. They put in a pic tube Thursday so we can try and get her the needed nutrients via boost etc.
I AM SO SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!My heart is constantly aching. She does seem to have a great team of Doctors. Chemo and radiation will begin soon. We had asked if this could be done closer to where she lives as I'm afraid it's going to be too hard on her (we are driving an hour each way per visit to get there). Was told if we want the standard chemo and radiation that would be fine BUT there is a clinical trial in phase 2 offered at the hospital we are currently at and the local one can't do it. At this point the way I understand it, that means standard treatment plus a possibility of better chances.
I have done endless hours of research on all this and from what I read, stage 4 cancer is the last stage, Can anyone tell me different? Or give me insight,hope or tell me that they have been through this and what to expect? Mom's identical twin had cancer (lung and lypoma) 2 years ago and passed away 2 months later after starting treatment. I REALLY TRY to keep my tears and fears at bay when I'm around her. I'm am staying with her during the week to transport her to and from and will be there on the weekends if needed. Thank God for FMLA! Does anyone have an opinon about clinical trials? And just think, this all started because (we thought) het dentures needed replaced thing her gums were shrinking due to age!!! Any insight would be GREATLY APPRECIATED
Dee