I have been struggling to write although I wanted and needed the support but everything just seemed too much.
I wake up and my brain is on auto drive � Simon / cancer and I go to bed doing the same. It never stops. Burning out slowly but still going.

Thank you for your messages and yes, you are right he should take responsibilities but the reality is different. Still struggling to find any support, the system is horrendous. I get told it's a team working together but in reality everyone is working alone.

In the meantime I have gotten consent from my husband to discuss his health with all professionals.
My fears have become reality 'cancer depression' has set in on top of his other mental health problems.

He's had an infection between week 2 and 3 and reacted badly to chemo. They had to remove PICC line and he was on IV antibiotics as well as oral. He became very anxious and was agitated during this time. The infection has cleared.

We have finished 20 out of 33 treatments and the path is very rocky. I have difficulties getting him 'to look after himself' , I.e. Applying cream, drinking water or anything else. It's tough.

Thanks to all of you for your contributions to this forum. Because of it I was and am well aware of side effects and can address them as they arise.