I would like to take the opportunity to say thank you forum members as well as the forum itself. I couldn't manage without it.

If you don't mind I would like to use the forum to share my experience and to find some support.

First day of treatment. 6 hours are required to complete treatment. And that's without seeing any specialist.
What an emotional day - traumatised - and still is. NOTHING could have prepared me for this.
Seeing your loved one getting 'poisoned' and then 'grilled' was harder than I thought. I can't stop crying, even now. While I was busy organising our family life, appts , food, clothing, meds I was fine but now I'm a mess.
Maybe it's letting go �

Simon was scared - but not displaying any emotions. He kept apologising for having done this to the family - as if it's his fault ???
He's still smoking - it does worry me and kind of hurts me that he hasn't got the drive to stop. He knows about all the risks. I just don't get it.
He's been suicidal for many years now and life has been difficult. Doesn't he want to get cured? He said the 'spirit' has left him and he's waiting to die.

It is so difficult to deal with a mental and physical illness at the same time.
And our journey has just begun � the forum posts have prepared me mentally -somewhat - as to what is going to come but to support someone who doesn't have a drive to live is so draining.