Being a caregiver is a difficult often under-appreciated task. Throw mental health issues into the mix and its a recipe for making things twice as hard. I cant imagine the frustration you must go thru every day, all day long.

When you first came to the forum and explained your family's situation I instantly knew this was going to be one rough road, especially for you. As a caregiver please be kind to yourself. I know there arent enough hours in the day but you must take a few minutes once in a while just for you. Time to clear your head and forget about having the weight of the world on your shoulders. Even if you take a walk around the block by yourself every night its a big help. Give it a try, it cant hurt.

There have been several other members here who have had difficult husbands. These poor caregivers have struggled from day one as their husbands have chosen to ignore sound medical advice. Ive seen a couple times the spouse become so frustrated at their lack of input and attention to their own health they have simply told them step up and help take care of yourself or Im done fighting a losing battle. Its come down to the ultimatum of the husband choosing to become an active participant in their treatments to get the "problem patient" to contribute. Such a shame that the bigger picture isnt understood! This is a life or death fight. If your husband continues to fight the people who are trying to help him instead of the disease then Im concerned this wont turn out very well for him in the end. I wish I was able to have one hour face to face time with your husband. Im certain by the time that hour was over your husband would "get it" and help himself more.

Im so sorry you are going thru such a hard time!!! Please begin immediately taking time for you. I know it will help you to feel a little better about not just yourself but the situation.

We are here not just for the patient but for you too. Hang in there!!!


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile