[quote=Brie79]I am very upset now, because of the fact that my oral surgeon wasn't insistent on keeping a very watchful eye. Instead he was more insistent that i was too young and it was very rare.

I am scared that it's so late in the game now. 4 years ago biopsy was done, 2 yr follow up it grew back with slight pain, next two years spread more with more pain.

That infuriates me because I keep on top of things but i also want to trust doctors and expect them to know their things. Thank you for your information. I am going to see the ENT. [/quote]

Hi Brie,

In order:

FIRST: Don't fret about what cannot be changed. In my own case, I went to see my Family Physician about a large lump I'd discovered under the right side of my chin 6 years before I got diagnosed. He sent me to see a prominent ENT here who took many samples via thin needle biopsy. I never heard back, so I went to see what the story was and was told not to worry about it. So, for the next 6 years, I didn't.

Then, after 6 years, I started getting an ear ache that seemed to be linked with the location of the lump and went to see another ENT on my own. This one said he didn't know what it was, but that I'd better get it removed at once and let the pathology lab tell me what it is. What it was, was Stage IV oropharyngeal cancer.

Stuff happens, if it doesn't help you get cured, it's not worth the stress of getting upset about it. STRESS IS NOT THE CANCER PATIENT'S FRIEND!

SECOND: I sent you a PM earlier on the subject of dealing with Fear. The only thing I'll repeat here is that Fear of the event (any event) is always worse than the actual event is.

THIRD: Try to let go of you fury, anger (like Hate) only makes a bad situation worse. It is always very corrosive to the vessel that tries to contain it. It's another form of STRESS, and STRESS IS NOT THE CANCER PATIENT'S FRIEND!

The Cancer, on the other hand, loves stress and anger, and thrives in an environment where it is cultivated. So for now, forget about right and wrong, and concentrate on calming your mind and beating the cancer.

And eating to fuel your recovery, and drinking water to flush the by-products of your successful fight!

I am dead serious when I say, find something that makes you happy, and focus your free thoughts on that. Fear and anger are but mind-states, and they are particularly YOUR mind-states. With a little practice, you can learn to change your mind-state to one of happiness. That's something you very much want to do.

Best of luck to you, Brie! We're all pulling for you and you are most assuredly not alone in this!

Bart